Lesson "Make Up Your Mind!"

Everyone has a limited amount of time and energy in life. Particularly on a day-to-day basis when we spent approximately 8 (or more) hours at work, around one hour working out (hey even if we’re nerdy we want to look our best!), half an hour to an hour trying to look presentable despite working with mostly men (females compare themselves so since the HR women always have time to look good we don’t want to look like slobs next to them), commute time between home and work, and then trying to get a good 7-8 hours of sleep, there isn’t much free time left. Plus we’ve expended so much energy working hard and trying to succeed in our professions that we don’t want to waste our time. So really guys, if you don’t like a girl, just tell her that. It is unacceptable to drag us around by a leash while we keep thinking that you like us and then suddenly breaking communication. What’s up with that, boys? I understand you may not have the best social graces in the world but to lead us on afterwards and then drop us is completely uncool.

For example, I went on a dinner date with a boy once. Conversation flowed really smoothly, there were few awkward pauses. And then we both agreed after the date that we had a really good time. At least I was being sincere, I guess the guy wasn’t. We kept texting back-and-forth for three days after the date and I was wondering if he was going to ask me out again. It’s almost a week later and I figure well since he hasn’t asked me maybe I should ask him. And he agreed but then day of the date he came up with excuses. And the next two days were full of excuses until I had to tell him straight up to say he wasn’t interested. I can understand if he just says it of his volition, that’s fine, but having to force it out of a guy? Grow a pair, please!

On second thought, maybe it was a good idea nothing more than one date happened. The guy had the membership where he could message any girl and then she could message him back regardless if she was a paying member or not. Player, I think so?

So lesson here, make up your mind and speak up! We successful girls can handle disappointment. It’s not like this is the first time it’s ever happened. It’s preferable to us wasting our time thinking about you.

Lesson "Passion is a Way to a Girl's Heart"

We are girls with college degrees. We spent around 4 years going to classes, studying, doing homework, all those things. This also means we may lead somewhat sheltered lives. Especially the more dorkier girls. College is a bubble, since we are surrounded with students who have the same goal as us - graduate with a degree. We spend hours holed up in the computer lab with students, we party with students. The majority of us will finish college at some point and go out into the real world. However, if we land a job at a good place, the bubble may continue to encompass us. Most of our coworkers will have similar backgrounds - college degrees, well-traveled, knowledgeable - so it's not really the real world. But then, to meet people, we step into the REAL WORLD. Whether this be through going out to clubs or online dating sites, we face a rude awakening. What? Not everyone went to college or at the least, wanted to go to college? What are these people doing now? Sitting on their ass? I mean, there's a difference between following a passion somewhere that doesn't require a college degree and just not wanting to bother with college and not doing anything useful. Basically it boils down to being successful at whatever one chooses to do.

Example. A guy who is the manager of a shoe store and has been in college forever and will be indefinitely. Why? Because he didn't feel like applying himself to college.

Exception. A guy who didn't feel college was the right path for him but instead devotes himself to the arts and owns his own training business and has many interests and hobbies.

That's absolutely fantastic if the guy is the exception to the majority of folks in the real world, but sadly that does not seem to be the case. As successful girls, we are looking for guys of the same mindset. The degree is not necessary but the ability to apply himself to something is because that is how we are too.

Lesson "Arrogance is Not Attractive"

We are passionate females. We care about things in life, whether that be volunteering, sports, careers, etcetera. And we are confident with ourselves and honest with our abilities at whatever we have chosen to do. We don't need you to boast about how good you are at something somewhat related especially if we are not bragging about ourselves. That's not impressive, it's just annoying.

For example I went on a kayaking blind date with a super competitive guy. At the very least, he did pay for my kayak (I'll save money for another lesson though) which does give him a plus. However, once we were out on the water he immediately started to give me kayaking technique tips. I know my kayaking isn't the greatest but hey let's just chill out here. I didn't know we were out here to go fast. Maybe he assumed because I'm a triathlete that somehow the running/cycling/swimming skills translate over to kayaking, but really, they do not.

Also, it is completely unnecessary to challenge us to race. Yes, I know you are a better kayaker than me for a couple reasons. First of all you own a kayak and therefore likely to go kayaking more often than I do. Second of all you are of the male gender meaning you should have more muscle and are inherently stronger and therefore faster. I don't appreciate being challenged to a race. Being crazy competitive is not a turn-on. I don't want to feel I have to compete with a significant other.

And what do I remember most about the entire date? You saying, "Too bad the weather is cool. Normally I'd take my shirt off to show my smokin' hot bod." Alright DATE OVER.

Yes boys, arrogance and over-competitiveness is not attractive. If we like you, we like you for who you are.  We appreciate humility and that is more appealing, plus it gives us a chance to learn about the real you and not some puffed-up version. Nor do any of us want to feel like you are always measuring yourself against us, or competing against us. That is kind of repulsive.

Introduction

So this is a guide for guys who may or may not be engineers who would like to learn how to properly court a girl who may or may not be an engineer but at least is ambitious, motivated, put together, and independent. You are probably asking, "Why does this person think he or she has the credibility to write a blog about dating for nerds?" Well, let me tell you.

I'm a female computer engineer working for a giant tech company in a suburban town in Northern California many miles from her college and home towns. That sentence is full of information. I'll explain.

• female - I am the driven, goal-orientated girl mentioned in the above paragraph who has most of her shit together and knows what she wants.
• computer engineer - I am a nerd, I've played on computers since elementary school. I taught myself HTML (I know you're laughing because it's just a markup language and not a real programming language but that's okay) in 24 hours (well the book said 24 hours but which I skimmed in about a day) and started creating my own websites at age 13. I learned C++ in high school, along with Pascal, Visual Basic, Java, and some random language used to control robot paths. 
• giant tech company - I work with a bunch of (mostly male) nerds!!! They are my co-workers, they are my managers. I have plenty of experience in awkward social interactions.
• suburban town - This place lacks pretty much anything entertainment-wise for twenty-somethings. It is very family-oriented, and as my manager says, "old and married."
• many miles from college/home - I knew pretty much no one when I moved here a year ago. I still don't know that many people, and since my hobbies are more mature (I ride/run with older peoples) it's really hard to meet people my own age, especially guys. So I've had to turn to online dating. Which leaves me with a plethora of stories to share and the lessons I have learned. 

And to prove I'm a nerd? I really like the URL for this blog. 2 and 4. There are so many ways to fiddle with those numbers. And that makes me happy.